wildflowers

I consider myself a wildflower. I believe that one should grow and bloom wherever life plants them; that is what wildflowers do. They grow and they bloom and they live beautifully wherever the wind takes their seeds. They plant themselves in whichever soil and grow despite sometimes not having the best nurturing or calm surroundings.

As I write this, which will be my first official blog post, the wind has taken us to a place we never thought we would be taken to. Confinement in our own homes. We have been planted here, so what are we going to do? I’ve chosen to grow. Through the years I’ve noticed that whenever life throws a curveball at me, being the Virgo that I am, with my lists and my planning for month in advance, after the crying and the wailing, I let myself grow. Grow in ways I would have never thought possible.

Being the young adult that I still am, thirty two and still with no Botox in me, I can say I’ve seen quiet a bit of the dark side of the Moon, and I’m proud of that. I am proud of every dark moment I’ve had, every doubt that’s crossed my mind and every single To-Do list and plan shattered to pieces by the Universe itself. As I write these commencement speech-like words, I’ve lost my job, the Bar Exam for which I studied and felt completely prepared for was cancelled, and I’m recovering from little painful procedure to take some little pre-cancer-bitch cells from body. I tell you this, because despite not being able to see the future that awaits for me, I am trusting of whatever is coming my way. Just like the wildflowers trust that where they have been buried is where they will bloom with grace.

Trusting in whatever comes my way hasn’t always been easy, it still isn’t. But I’m growing and learning and changing the way I’ve programed my sweet Virgo mind to see the challenges that the Universe presents me. That growth has come thanks to a couple of words that I can barely pronounce without sounding possessed:

Tadasana, Urdhva Hastasana, Uttanasana, Ardha Uttanasana, Chaturanga Dandasana, Urdhva Mukha Svanasana, Adho Mukha Svanasana, Ardha Uttanasana, Uttanasana, Urdhava Hastasana, Tadasana.

This is the pose sequence used in yoga in the Sun Salutation. And how have these impossible to pronounce words helped me grow you ask? Well, you’ll have to say hello to Sun yourself to get where I’m coming from, but I’ll let you in a little secret. Yoga and meditation saved my life. I’ve become more aware of my body and my mind through this practice. But aware in a way where I am able to quiet my mind and truly be present in a moment. I have become aware of the words that come out of my mouth not just while talking to others, but also when I’m talking to myself. To be aware is to be kind. Kind with ourselves. Kind to the world around us. I have opened myself to the things the Universe and my angels have been always trying to tell me, but it’s not easy to listen when the world around us expects us to go at pace where our thoughts are silenced by other thoughts, usually not positive ones. Since I can remember I’ve always shown interest for healing crystals, reiki practices and mindfulness, but it wasn’t until I let the world I had so color-coded created for myself shatter that I was able to grow and rebuild myself with kindness. It’s not just about the new rituals I’ve incorporated in my day to day; carrying an amethyst around and journaling every New Moon doesn’t really change us if we don’t completely trust in what the Universe has in store for us. Everything must be in balance for us to be able to grow. But before the balance comes the chaos, and that is ok, that is growth. Wildflowers sometimes have to push through concrete to bloom.

This is what I want this space to be. I hope that Hanami becomes a platform that encourages empowerment and growth. That is pushes us to educate ourselves and to shatter the notion of perfection we’ve strived for and just let ourselves be happy and free. To care for our bodies, our minds, our souls, our passions and the planet we call home. My wish is that we all become wildflowers.